I remember I had just arrived at my mom’s house. I took the kids out of the double jogger and began unloading their snacks. Mom opened the door and hugged us all and asked if I wanted tea. After we set-up the kids with their activities and snacks, I took a slow sip of my tea and said to her, “I am meant to be a millionaire by 40 and with that money I will help many people.” I was 28 at the time. My children were 18 months and 3 ½ years old. She asked me how I would do it and I began laying out a plan. That day, on a napkin, later transferred to paper I wrote down my vision as she began envisioning the next phase of her life as well. Over the next 10 years, there were many twists and turns to include my divorce from my high school sweetheart and several job changes. Over time many I will share many of the details that brought great moments of growth and self-realization. The main point I want to share is over those 10 years I experienced 3 clear instances where the millionaire moments appeared, however, I missed the moment, let others influence the moment or actually refused to accept the moment. I could not understand why. On further examination, it had everything to do with my inability to truly love myself.
Through my growth process, I had begun journaling. I am a big believer in journaling as means of positive expression, healing, and realization as well as Automatic Writing. Automatic writing is a term used to describe a method of connecting to your higher-self, God (or the higher Deity you define), Angels and sometimes deceased loved ones. I view it as a connection to my higher self and the Creator.
For more information: a scientific reference - The American Journal of Psychology (click read more and scroll down on the site to read the preview available)
For a more basic explanation - Automatic Writing, An Alternate Method Of Spirit Communication, by Bob Olsen
Back to my story, I was journaling one morning feeling “Tired of Being Tired” and my journaling conversation went like this:
I was speechless. I sat with that thought for an hour and did not journal for almost 2 weeks. I really began to examine where that idea first came up and how long I believed it…
I pause here to say I grew up Catholic and by 9 or 10 my mom converted us to Baptist. In retrospect, I found the Catholic rituals intriguing but the Baptist services much easier to understand. I did wonder why we never used the bible in Mass and was glad my mom found an hour-long Baptist service. I later found out our Minister was raised Catholic too.
Ok, back on point, I was meditating some weeks later and heard the words, “Study to Show Thyself Approved” (2 Timothy 2:15 reference). I said to myself, “What? Why?” I sat still and heard, “the source.” I sat longer and but there was silence. I felt the urge to write again. So, I did. The excerpt:
“I pray that all things on a mental, physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual and even down to a cellular level that is preventing me from being the person I was born to be. I want to receive all that is meant for me including personal happiness and wealth and finances so that I can help others. I want to fulfill my destiny. I remove all blocks and accept the blessings available to me and which are available to me from this moment forward. I give thanks for the blessings and all the assistance provided to me sending tremendous peace, blessings, gratitude, and love. SO IT IS….
I prayed that prayer in writing and 3 months later I was lead to take a trip with a group to Sedona, AZ to visit several spiritual vortexes. I’ll pause here to explain a bit about spiritual vortexes. These are places on the planet that have a very high concentration of energy. Some are very positive and others have very negative energy. I will not focus on this too much in this post however if you want to begin to explore this concept follow this link:
http://themindunleashed.com/2013/07/earth-chakras-and-vortices-earth-energy.html. We as being have chakras and so does the earth. This dimension is based on opposite and equal so, I there are positive vortexes there negative as well.
Sedona, AZ Spring Equinox 2011, the group mapped out the schedule and on day 3 we went to Boynton Canyon. This vortex is said to represent balanced energy. When making the trek it is suggested that you walk a path to the canyon wall and touch it. Ok, so, off we go. We stopped on a very scenic place and sat for quiet moment or meditation. I was asked to go over to the canyon wall. I asked for instructions. I was open but it was new for me. I was to walk the path, go to the wall and put my forehead against the wall. Outwardly I was cool but inside I was like – what? My face on the outside of rock!? Okayyyy… But, I did it. I walked the path. It was a narrow path with inclines, declines beautiful scenery and then a small clearing opened. I stood there a second and then said here it goes. I put my hands up next to my head on the canyon wall. The most incredible thing happened – I heard:
Will you serve?
Yes, but how
LOVE, HONOR & CHERISH
Ok, but who
YOURSELF and then OTHERS…………
I was forever changed. I mean an incredibly bright light went off and it was like old tapes unraveled and fell away. As crazy as it sounds it was like one of the mysteries of life were solved. I walked back to the group, shared the experience and was rolling it over and over. Over the next several weeks, I focused on that and of course, wrote about it in my journal. The entry:
Self-love is just that. Doing things to demonstrate loving, honoring, and cherishing thoughts, actions and deeds to/for yourself FIRST. Honoring the creation - the being you are. This means you’ll set healthy boundaries. You express them in positive ways. It is not selfish or self-serving behavior. It is balanced and grounded behavior. It is knowing why, when and how to say no to yourself and others. Finding all the healthy reasons to say - Yes!! Understanding the truer meanings of:
Turning the other cheek (referring to Mathew 5:39): You realize you only have two (2) cheeks. The first time maybe an oversight or misunderstanding and we offer others a second chance. There is no reference to offering your cheek again. Is that truly a reasonable expectation? From a place of self-love, I believe a better position may be to consider the person was unaware of the harm they caused the first time. So, inform them with the most direct and clear language you have BUT from a place of love. An example, you may not be aware that action hurt my feelings, caused me pain, etc. When you do or did (fill in the blank) it upset me, caused me pain, made me angry or whatever it created for you. Then ask the person not to do it again. Find out if they understand your position. If the same thing happens and you are sure you took steps to communicate then you should love yourself enough to take steps to remove the opportunity for future hurt to occur. There are too many circumstances to address them here but I am sure you get the point. ALL of the leaders we admire reached a point where they took a stand. All sacred texts give examples. Why do we know their names? They made history by taking a stand!
All three major religions have a version of the text:
"For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." - Psalms 139:13/14
We are marvelous works of the Creator and in our soul, we know. Remember, reconnect and recommit to loving yourself. I encourage you to live breathe, explore and experience Self-Love.
WORLD ACCORDING TO KAREN...
Nearly 20 years ago, I embarked on a journey to discover my life's purpose. Through this journey, I have developed daily routines and practices for balance, clarity, energy, and focus. I have completed several certifications to include Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Meyers Briggs Assessment Implementation, American Lung Society Smoking Cessation Counseling & Early Child Education.